I Love This Boy

Oh my goodness. If you know anything about me at all, you know that Artie & Logan are my life. I am so blessed to be a mom, and I thank God for that every day. For several years I didn't think I could get pregnant at all, and then just when we gave up, God intervened.
I remember when I told Artie that I thought I was pregnant. We bought four pregnancy tests and I took them all. We still didn't want to tell anyone until I had been to the doctor to confirm. Artie called his parents since they are out of state. I told mine at their house on my sister's birthday in December. I made a Christmas tree ornament with a little plastic baby inside a tiny open box. The box lid said "Merry Christmas, You're Going to be Grandparents." Everyone cried, even my Dad.
While I was pregnant, of course I mainly hoped for a healthy baby, but I did want a boy. I always said I wanted him to have Artie's good looks and my brains. When we found out it was a boy, we were very excited.
We decorated the nursery with a Noah's Ark theme, and Artie & I hand-painted an ark and some animals on the wall of our apartment. It was quite beautiful, even if we did do it ourselves!
From the moment he was born, he was my miracle child. We didn't send him to the nursery for our two nights in the hospital. We couldn't bear for him to be out of our sight. They took him to circumcise him and I was pacing the floor, ready for them to bring him back.
I won't tell you his entire life story in this post, but fast-forward 13 years to the present day. Logan is the joy of my life. He can make me laugh, make me cry, make me angry, and make me smile faster than anyone else on the earth. He definitely has my sarcastic sense of humor, and we totally have inside jokes. Sometimes Artie looks at us like we are aliens. And sometimes Artie is the subject of our jokes. :)

When I get home from work in the evenings, I stop by Logan's room on my way to change clothes. He always says "Hey, Mom." If he says "Dad didn't take his medicine today," then I know Artie's in a bad mood. LOL If he says, "How was your day?" or stops playing xbox long enough to ask how the boss treated me that day, then I know he usually wants something.
He knows how to talk me into just about anything. He also knows where I keep my purse and which pocket my money is in. He knows how to use my credit card to order pizza online, but he can't figure out how to flush the toilet ...?

This boy is the center of our world. He knows it, too. He loves being a spoiled only child, but he loves his parents and his family. He is so gentle and caring with his 2-year-old cousin. He rolls his eyes when his 6-year-old cousin says she's going to marry him, but he holds her hand and walks with her anyway. (while we all crack up)

He has been known to give away his toys and games to less fortunate friends. He wants to volunteer at the homeless shelter or the food pantry. He worries about Mom being alone at night. He worries when someone in our family is struggling and wants to make sure they have food and money. He has a very kind heart - but he hides it if he wants to act cool. If I want to know how I REALLY look in an outfit - Logan is the one to ask. "You look fat, Mom, don't wear that." "That color is gross." "Why is your hair so yellow today?" "Mom, that is SO not cool." "Please don't answer the door in your pajamas if my friends come over!"
He goes to all the school dances (which I never did except senior prom) and goofs off with his friends. He could eat five pizzas in a row and not bat an eye. And he sleeps with two cats who are his babies. He could easily go on "Last Comic Standing" and win the grand prize.
The early teen years are not always the fun ones for parents or kids. But thank God that we have a close-knit family and a son who still talks to us and is not embarrassed to say "I love you" even in front of his friends.
I love this boy. He is still my miracle child. I do everything in my power to make his life fun and happy and secure. I am so glad God chose me to be his mom. I love this boy!!

Parenting Fail Update

Several weeks ago I wrote about Logan's weight issue and how we were removing all junk food from the house. We did this in an attempt to help him (and us) eat more nutritious foods and lose weight. However, after approximately six weeks without snacks, Logan has not lost a single pound. He is frustrated and we are at a loss.
He recently had to make a small project for school and I found it in his agenda book. It was a shirt-shaped paper that had been colored in with pencils, and around the collar and sleeves they apparently had to write things about themselves. Logan had written "smart" and "funny" and a couple of other positive words, but at the bottom he had written "obese." I cried when I saw it.
So we have now taken another step in our plan of action to help our son. We have scheduled him for sessions with a personal trainer. We are already members at the YMCA, and they offer personal training for an additional cost. Artie believes that the a trainer will push Logan and motivate him more than we can by just taking him to the Y and working out with him. Logan's first session is later this week.
We will NOT let this issue win. We will figure out a way to help Logan and to protect his self-esteem as much as possible in the process.
I will continue to keep you posted....

Too Late for More Children

When Logan was born in 1998, Artie & I had been married for 12 years; I was 32 years old and Artie was 33. We really wanted a baby at that point and felt like Logan was our miracle child. He has been the greatest blessing to us and we love him beyond measure.
However, as any new parent knows, the first year with the first child can be a huge adjustment, especially for couples who have been married as long as we were. We were used to picking up and going whenever we wanted, wherever we wanted, and a baby certainly changed that.
Logan was a high-maintenance child from Day 1, never napping for more than an hour at a time, having to be held while he was sleeping or he would wake up, and never entertaining himself. (Yes, I realize these issues might be because we spoiled him so!) As he grew into a toddler, he would never play by himself and always wanted our undivided attention. As I have mentioned in previous blogs, my in-laws live out of state, and my parents only watched Logan on Thursday nights from 6:00 to 9:00. Those three hours were the only break we had. He hated riding in his car seat and one of us often had to ride in the back seat to hold his hand or entertain him in the car.
It was a major adjustment for us in our marriage. We went from having all the time alone in the world to no time alone. I was frazzled and stressed – trying to work from home and be a good new mom at the same time. Artie was frazzled and stressed – new fathers adjust to babies differently than new mothers do (and that’s all I’ll say about that).
Despite the adjustments, Logan was the light of our lives and we could not imagine loving another child as much as we loved him! How would that even be possible, we would say to each other.

I feel like I’m walking a thin line here between being enormously grateful for the opportunity to be Logan’s mom while also being honest about what a difficult adjustment parenthood was for us. As always, I’m trying to share my experience as honestly as I can. I realize sometimes that may not put me in the best light.
Anyway, we were adamant throughout most of Logan’s childhood that we did not want any more children. We felt that Logan was all we could handle, and all we needed. I had hoped for a boy with Artie’s looks and my brains, and that’s exactly what I got. God blessed us with a healthy son and we were so grateful. We felt like our family was complete.
Over the last 2 or 3 years, however, we have often discussed how we wish we had had more children. We feel we are too old now and there would be too much of an age gap between Logan and a sibling; plus Artie had a vasectomy after we both lost so much weight. One of the main reasons we sometimes wish we had more children is that we worry about Logan being lonely as an only child and not having a “built-in” playmate in a brother or sister. We also talk about how things might be when we grow older – will Logan take care of us? We also have been blessed with a roomy house and have two extra bedrooms that never get used. When my dad died, I was so grateful to have my sister to lean on and grieve with. She knew exactly what I was going through. When Artie & I are gone, Logan will be “all alone” in the world. He has cousins, but that’s not the same as a sibling.

Sometimes I’ll see a movie (The Family Stone comes to mind) where all the adult children are returning home for the holidays and bringing their spouses and children along. I think of my small family and it makes me sad. Kristi & I have one child each, and Dad is gone. So at holidays there are only seven of us total.

I had a boy name and a girl name picked out for years. (I didn’t use the boy name for Logan, which was Joshua Dayne – Joshua after a strong man of faith in the Bible and Dayne after my dad). My girl name was Grace Kathleen – Grace because I’m covered by it and it’s a beautiful word and Kathleen after my beloved Mamaw. I know that one child must have been God’s plan for us, and I’m perfectly happy with how things turned out. Logan is still high-maintenance and is certainly demanding enough for two or three kids. He says he likes being an only child – he doesn’t have to share possessions or our attention. We can always both attend his events and not have to split up and go with different kids. He has his own room and his own bathroom and most of the time runs the house.

There are arguments for both sides, as with any choice. If we had it to do over, we probably would have tried for more kids – but we are definitely very happy in our little family of three with our spoiled-rotten only child. We are very blessed just the way we are, and I thank God every day for allowing me to be a mother and to have Logan, my one-in-a-million child!

A Long Weekend at the Beach

Clearwater Beach is one of my favorite places on the earth. My family was introduced to Clearwater when I was 9 years old, and we went there for summer vacation every year. I went with the family until I was 21 and married, then went back with the family & took Artie in 1995. In 2000, we went again with the family and took Logan (at age 2). This was the only trip that included Logan and my dad, and I have great memories and great photos from that trip.
It's a tiny little island near Tampa, and it's definitely more of a family place than a "spring break" type destination. Lots of retirees live there, and almost all of the same little mom & pop stores & restaurants have lined the main street for as long as I can remember. You can go to the marina to board a pirate cruise, a dinner cruise, a fishing expedition, or simply to drop mail at the post office there. You can walk almost the whole island, and there is activity at the pier every single night, year-round.

We went at the end of June for our annual family vacation and took Mom, Kristi & her family. It was a fun trip, but my boss interrupted me several times and there were crises going on at the office that put a damper on my trip. This past weekend, Artie, Logan & I returned for the Labor Day weekend to just chill and enjoy family bonding time with just the 3 of us. Logan is definitely more interested in hanging out with his friends these days than his boring old parents, so we want to take every opportunity we can to spend time with him and keep that bond tight.

We had a GREAT time! Friday night Logan just had to order room service - he still thinks that's one of the coolest things ever. Artie & I walked over to a seafood cafe and had dinner outside. Saturday morning, Artie & Logan went deep-sea fishing and due to the choppy waters from the tropical storm in the Gulf, they both got seasick.

They did manage to catch a few fish, though. If you take your catch to a local restaurant, they'll cook it for you. I thought that was pretty cool, too! While they were fishing, I slept in and then went down to the beach by myself. I rented our umbrella & chairs for the day and just chilled & read my scrapbooking magazines. When they returned, Logan went in for a nap while Artie & I swam and got some sun.

We went to our favorite restaurant, Crabby Bill's, for dinner that night. Logan ordered and ATE the biggest crab legs I have ever seen!!

Sunday we were lazy and stayed around the pool or the beach all day. We ate lunch by the pool at the Sand Bar & Grill. They bring the food & drinks right to your pool chair!

Sometimes Logan wanted to go the room and watch TV or play on his iPad, but mostly we spent all of our time together as a family. We had actual conversations, laughed, and played together, and I think it was the best weekend I've had in a VERY LONG time! I can't think of two people I'd rather spend my time with, and having them all to myself was such a treasure. I'm so glad we went. Logan said it was enough family togetherness time to count for the next 14 years, but I won't let him off that easy. :)

We Are at the Beach

Artie, Logan & I are in Clearwater Beach, Florida for a much-needed break. I will blog more after we get back. :)

A Typical Night

We have to be one of the most boring families in our neighborhood, at the very least. We go to work and school, come home and have dinner and do homework, and then we sit. We sit out on the screened porch for conversation or board games. We sit inside in front of the television. We sit in Logan's room and watch something he insists we watch with him. (Usually something involving teens doing ridiculously stupid things while wearing helmets). As our lively high-octane evening wears down, Artie & I head upstairs.

Logan is usually on xbox by now.

Artie heads to the tanning bed, since his bronze color might fade overnight or something.

Of course I'm on my laptop. How do you think all of this blogging gets done anyway?

And yes, the bedside clock is right. It's time for me to take my handful of nightly medicines and crawl into bed. Where I will still watch TV, read my Kindle, read the Bible, or type yet more on the laptop. We are real party animals here, aren't we?

Corn Street

Corn Street is a tiny dead-end street in Union, South Carolina, where Artie is from. His parents, brothers and sister all live on this street, which makes it very easy to see everyone when we go for a visit. There is another couple on the street, Cheryl & Kenny, who might as well be family.
Corn Street is a happenin' place. For only 4 homes (technically one actually has a Lockhart Hwy address, but who's counting), there is never a dull moment - although things have slowed down quite a bit since Ronnie Burris passed away last year. Ronnie is our niece, Bailey's, dad, and he also lived on the famous Corn Street. He was quite a character, and is greatly missed by all of us.
A Corn Street gathering is literally a street party. Since it's a dead-end, we can set up tables or water slides or whatever we want at the end of the street and have a big party. We've had cookouts, bonfires, Easter egg hunts, memorials, karaoke nights, you name it. There's always a ton of good food, a lot of laughs, and fun for the kids up to the grandparents.
Corn Street is legendary. Occasionally the police may have been called ...
One of my favorite Corn Street memories was a couple of Halloweens ago when we were telling ghost stories to all the kids (Logan, Bailey, Mackenzie and a whole gang of their friends), and then Monty, Artie's brother, ran out & scared the pooky out of the kids! I've never seen 8-10 year olds so scared in all my life.
Another good memory was when we were shooting fireworks, which we do every Christmas, and one of them flew in the door and burned a hole in my BRAND NEW velour track suit I had just gotten the day before for Christmas!

I am very blessed to have the Davis family for my in-laws. To me they are blood after all these years, and I always enjoy spending time on Corn Street with them. They make me laugh and relax and just enjoy good family time. And Logan loves to spend time with his cousins!

This is a typical Corn Street gathering. Tables, food, lots of family & friends.

And there is ALWAYS a bonfire! Logan likes to be the fire-keeper. He has been trained by Monty, which makes me a little nervous.

This was a rough night on Corn Street. We sent balloons up in the air as a memorial for Ronnie Burris. He was like the "Mayor of Corn Street," and he & Papoo (Artie's Dad) could tell you EVERY single thing that happened on that street and any others nearby. Now Papoo has to handle the street by himself. ;)

This was our annual Easter egg coloring event. We color eggs and then hide about 200 to 300 of them. The kids love it. Logan was sad this year he felt "too old" to participate, so he helped the youngest, Braylyn, to find her eggs.

The shady porch at Mumma & Papoo's (Artie's parents). This is the gossip spot and the point from which we survey all the goings-on.

This is the only traffic allowed on Corn Street during a "shindig." Mumma is pushing Braylyn around in her car. Since this photo, Braylyn now pushes Mumma around, or over. lol

This was karaoke time and the kids were playing musical chairs to some of Cheryl's karaoke music.

Logan & me at the Corn Street Luau. That was a lot of fun. Deann and I LOVE to theme our parties, don't we?

This is Artie's sister & brother, along with Patti's grand-daughter, Braylyn. I can't believe we are a GREAT-AUNT & UNCLE!

And here's Miss Cheryl leading the conga line. :)

No, Artie is not putting money in my shirt. We were having a great time here. Nobody throws a party like Corn Street, that's for sure.

Here are the Corn Street Kids - clean version.

And here they are - dirty version.

Looking forward to the next Corn Street Shindig!

Pure Silliness

First of all, I have to say up front: I ADORED my grandmother! (We called her Mamaw here in the hills of Tennessee). She died in 1998 when I was a few weeks pregnant with Logan. I have always said the Lord gave me Logan when he took Mamaw because He knew I'd never survive it otherwise. I absolutely loved her like no other. She was my cheerleader, my voice of wisdom, a comedian, and a very bright & shining role model that I wish I had followed. I was her biggest fan.
The "silliness" of this post comes in because of the dress in this photo. Mamaw made this dress, and most of the other clothes she wore. Mom recently was going through some of her things and found this very dress. She gave it to me because she knows how close I was to Mamaw. The very first idea I had after she gave it to me was, "I wonder if I can fit into this dress? Wouldn't that make a cute picture?" I knew I had this photo of Mamaw in the dress. So .... I sucked in my tummy and I pulled and tugged and wiggled and squirmed and held my breath ... and voila!

Artie snapped a few photos and then had to pry me out of the dress. But for a few precious moments, I felt so close to her. Maybe because my breathing was cut off and I was that much closer to meeting her in heaven momentarily, OR maybe because she looked down from heaven and had a good laugh at my pure silliness.

Having a Spouse in College

As you may or may not know, my husband, Artie, is currently attending South College and working toward his BSN degree (Bachelor's of Science in Nursing). If he successfully completes his course load and passes the nursing exam at the end, he will be an RN when he is done. I very much encouraged him to do this, and am 100% supportive of him going back to school to better himself and to better provide for our family once he has finished school. However, it's not all blue skies & rose petals when you have a spouse in college.
This is a 3.5 to 4 year commitment, and he is about to complete his first year. The number of classes he can carry during each quarter determines how fast he can graduate. He goes year-round and has been averaging 3 courses per quarter. He also still works two full days per week at Mercy Hospital. He has to do this in order to keep our health insurance. God worked out a scheduling miracle when He allowed Artie to go to school PLUS work just enough hours to keep our insurance and pay for it out of his check.
So for the next 3.5 to 4 years, I am basically our only source of income. AHHHHHHHHHHHHH. Stress. I have a secure job and I show up every day like a good little soldier, but many days I definitely feel the stress of being the breadwinner. We have used all of our savings to help family members in need, so I don't have a cushion to fall back on and sometimes I feel like I'm walking a tightrope!
Besides finances, another issue is the study & homework time. That mostly all falls on Artie's shoulders, but it adds a lot of stress to him. And you know how stress "trickles" down to other family members... His huge homework load & study time also interferes with our travel activities. We have not made a trip to SC to see his family since Easter. Every time we plan a trip, he has some project or big test to prepare for and we can't go. He takes school very seriously and I am SO PROUD of the grades he has made - All A's so far except for one B! His hard work is definitely paying off.
One of my biggest issues with him going to school is probably jealousy. I have told him this, so it's not a big secret. While I'm slaving away at a very stressful job for 10-11 hours per day, he is going to school for 4 hours on three days per week and then has 3 afternoons free. He mostly uses this time for study and homework, but he will also walk over to the neighborhood pool, or on cold rainy days will nap on the couch or watch TV all afternoon. I get very jealous on those days. I know I shouldn't! I'm just being honest!
Going back to college at age 45 is not easy. At first he was very intimidated by the experience, but he has definitely adapted and is excelling. Watching him help take care of Dad when he was bedridden, I know Artie will make an excellent nurse. And he chose that degree because there is always a need for nurses and it should be a very secure field to work in.
We definitely approach this time in our lives with a team effort. I help him with homework or typing. He makes most of our dinners and keeps the house clean. We do everything together and talk about how we are feeling and how it is affecting our lives. We are very open if there are any issues to discuss. I believe this phase of our lives is making us even stronger. As our 25th anniversary approaches (December 6th), I am so proud of how we have learned to face and overcome each new challenge that married & family life brings. Of course, none of that would be possible without God. It was He who brought us together in the first place.
Artie gets his fall class schedule today and we are praying for a manageable course load. I'm always excited when a new quarter starts because I get to order books for him on Amazon and return his old ones for credit. Little things like that thrill me. (rolling my eyes)
I am so proud of a husband who is willing to go back to school at his age and prepare for a new career just to better himself and our family's future. And I am proud to be able to support our family financially while he does so. God has blessed us. Now I just need to stop thinking about the pool and the couch time! :)

A Moment of Panic

Dictionary.com defines dementia as: "severe impairment or loss of intellectual capacity and personality integration, due to the loss of or damage to neurons in the brain."
Today I had a moment of panic as I thought about the scientific research indicating that Kristi & I each have a 50% chance of contracting Pick's Disease since Dad had it. Add to that statistic that our maternal grandmother died after a long Alzheimer's battle, and we may both end up demented (literally!). I have wondered many times since Dad was diagnosed if it was harder to watch him mentally disappear right before our eyes than it would have been to see him suffer some other type of disease. At least with the Pick's Disease, he did not appear to be in any great pain until the last few days. It was so hard for us to not be able to carry on conversations with him, or to wonder if he even recognized us any more. I still don't know which would be worse.
When Dad's disease first started out, his personality began to change. He would blurt out inappropriate words. He acted more and more like a misbehaving child, performing crazy antics for attention. He remembered all the words to his beloved gospel songs, but he didn't know how to be serious on stage anymore. He would wear the same clothes for days, even if they were dirty - when before he was METICULOUS about his clothing. This stage of the disease became worse & embarrassingly worse before his physical problems started or his memory left him.
The thought of someday being bedridden, curled up into a fetal position, and not knowing my own son, is absolutely terrifying to me. The thought of Artie having to care for me like a baby is also depressing and frightening. I watched my mom care for my dad and I know what a toll it took on her. The burden of being a caregiver is a great one, and so often under-appreciated.
Dad starting exhibiting the first signs of his disease around age 60 or 61. That means I may only have 15 good years left! Scary stuff. However, if I put it into perspective of how none of us are even promised the next hour, much less tomorrow, then it seems a little more bearable. I guess I just need to make the most of every day, every year, and when my time comes, be it through dementia or some other means, I will have lived the best life I could. Matthew 6:34: "Take therefore no thought for the morrow: for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself. Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof." (KJV)

First Day of School

I cannot believe my only child is now in 8th Grade! It seems impossible that he could already be this age. He is certainly sorry to see the summer break end, and with it his sleeping late. He told us that getting up early is what he dreaded most about school starting back. We make him take his showers every night before bed so he won't have to get up that much earlier to shower before school.
I can't remember waaaaay back to my middle school class schedule, but I don't remember having 7 classes during a day. Maybe we did. Logan has Science, Social Studies, Health, Gym, Math, Language Arts & Reading. Have Language Arts & Reading always been two separate classes? My memory fails again.
I guess I will be filling out forms this week until my hand falls off. I don't know why they ask for the same information every new year; if nothing has changed, can't we just write "Same" on the forms? I really do like the electronic lunch code they have introduced, however. Logan has a code and he enters that code to buy anything from the cafeteria. I can just go online and add money to his cafeteria account at any time. I can also see what he's buying for lunch. It's a pretty cool system, and I know they didn't have that when I was in school!
He wants to get into the new STEM Academy next year, so he's trying to upgrade to Honors classes this year. I'll be turning in the forms for that this week and speaking with the principal about it. His TCAP scores, which we received today, were amazing. I am very proud of him!
And so begins another school year. I'm the only person in my house not in school.

Beach, Part 2

In just 18 LONG days from now, I'll be back here for the second time this year:


With Artie & Logan both in school, and my hectic work schedule, it gets harder and harder to plan little getaways. Quality time with Logan is also more & more scarce. Artie wanted to take another short trip with just the three of us, so we saw the golden opportunity in Labor Day Weekend. We are flying back down to Clearwater on Friday afternoon and flying back home Monday night. Almost three full days of sun, sand, water and uninterrupted FAMILY TIME! I am very much looking forward to that. Logan wants to go deep-sea fishing, and maybe we'll parasail again, who knows? I'm just looking forward to having the time with my two favorite people in the world. No work, no school, just the three of us!
I think parents should take any opportunity they can to get away with their kids and spend some family bonding time! Spending time at home with them is one thing - a very good thing - but getting away to a special place, where there are fun activities to share together and memories to make together - is a whole other experience. I enjoyed our family vacation earlier this year with Mom, Kristi & her family, too, but this will be different. Just my little family on our own adventure. I am counting the days!

I Love My Mommy!

Disclaimer: This photo was taken before my weight loss surgery! :)

I love my mom. I have always loved my mom, of course, because she's well ... my MOM. But I haven't always been close to her. We never bonded the way I thought mothers & daughters should bond while I was living at home. Then I got married and moved 500 miles away and focused on my husband. Through the years, Mom & I maintained a good relationship, and we never had any major arguments or went months without speaking to each other. It was never a horrible relationship, it just wasn't a great one.
We grew a little closer after I had Logan, although I was disappointed that Mom & Dad didn't have more time for their only grandchild (at the time). Their singing schedule kept them busy, busy, busy. They did schedule him in on Thursday nights and would keep him from 6:00 to 9:00 on Thursdays every week. I just didn't feel that was enough, and I held that against them for a long time.
When Dad was sick, most of the burden of his care fell on Mom. Kristi & I helped as much as we could, but we both work full-time jobs and have our own small families to take care of. I saw a different side of Mom as she cared for Dad day in and day out, refusing to put him in a nursing home. She insisted he would stay at home unless it became medically necessary to move him. She spoon fed him, changed his diapers, clipped his nails, shaved him, brushed his teeth - it was like having another baby. She would get tired, of course, and frustrated at times, but she took care of him for 6 years, the last two when he was completely bedridden and helpless. She washed urine off of walls and out of carpet. She saw her husband of 44 years disappear before her eyes. And still she kept going. I don't know how she made it those last couple of years. She worked full-time and cared for Dad during the nights and weekends.
After Dad died, I spent months working through that in therapy. Missing him, wishing I could have had more conversations with him before his mind was gone, wondering how I would survive this world with just one parent. (I know, lots of people survive their parents' death, but it was new to me, okay?) I had always felt closer to my Dad than my Mom, and I just didn't know how I could move forward in my relationship with Mom.
It certainly tested me when Mom started dating again several months after Dad died. I couldn't believe it! Dating?!? How could she? I held my nose up in disdain! It didn't matter that he was very kind, a good Christian man, and treated Mom very well. It probably took me a good year to accept the fact that she needed a companion and that it did not diminish the love she had with my Dad.
After quite a bit of therapy, much prayer, and some very honest and difficult conversations with Mom, things have really changed over the last two years. I talk to her every day, and she is the first person I want when I am sick. She was at my bedside after both of my recent surgeries, and slept on the couch next to me to give Artie a break. She has become a great cheerleader for me, and I have become the close daughter I think she always wanted me to be. She was only 17 when she had me, and 21 when she had Kristi. It took a long time, but we finally have that close relationship that I always thought a mother & daughter should have. It's never too late to mend or work on a relationship. God can change hearts and work through things that on our own we could never resolve. I love my Mommy and I'm very thankful for the closeness we now share.

These Fun-Filled Teen Years

Don't you just love the look on his face in this photo? In all fairness, he was super tired here, having only had about 2 hours of sleep over 48 hours and a full day with his friends at Dollywood. However, where is the happy at? I remember SOME parts of being 13, but I don't remember being so morose. I do remember thinking every little detail of my life was monumental and somehow earth-shattering, and that Mom & Dad just did NOT get it! Does Logan think that about us? That we don't get it? How sad for me. I try to get it, I really do. I try to stay involved enough in his life to know his friends and know what they are into; but not so much that I'm a meddler. We took Logan and 5 of his friends to Pigeon Forge for his birthday weekend and rented a cabin. I learned so much from watching and listening to them. They talked about some parents being so over-protective that "they don't even let the kid go to the bathroom by himself." Then they talked about a friend who has threatened suicide because his home life is so miserable. Some kids made their own beds and washed their plates out in the sink; other kids left a trail of potato chips and empty soda cans wherever they went.
I have always thought that Artie & I were close to Logan, and that we made it clear he could talk to us about anything. Sadly, he is starting to clam up about his personal life. He still lets me look at his phone and check his text messages, and I can look at his Facebook account anytime I want. He doesn't want me to know what girls he has a crush on. He gets frustrated with me when I ask "what's wrong?" or "how was your day?" I hope the days of my smiling, open, comedian of a son aren't over yet. I am not prepared for these sullen frosty years.