Annual Review

Warning: This is a depressing post. Sorry in advance!

It’s almost time for my annual review at the sweatshop. I dread this every year, because BB (big boss) is a master of psychology and somehow I walk out thinking I’ve really talked him into something great - when in actuality he’s talked me into a decrease in pay and longer hours (or something like that).

What I really want to tell him is that I am tired. I have lost my motivation. While others in the office are thinking of career advancement, attending seminars, and a heavier caseload, all I can think of is early retirement.

Can I just ask for shorter hours this year? Or a few Fridays off? Or time for doctor’s appointments without complaints? A raise in pay would be great, but it’s just not my #1 priority right now. I’m burned out. I’m exhausted ALL the time. I literally count down the hours until I’m home again with Artie & Logan. On the weekends, I barely want to leave the house because I crave the home time so badly.

Yes, I realize there is more going on with me than job dissatisfaction. I am going through an apparently prolonged phase in my life where I have so much regret over the choices that brought me to where I am right now, work-wise. Poor Artie has to listen to me complain, cry, and fume much more than he should have to.

Even though I work for a notoriously difficult person, it is not all his fault that I feel this way. It’s not his fault that I want to be at home. It’s not his fault that I made choices I have made. It’s not his fault that I have allowed him to usurp more and more of my time over the years. I need to set some boundaries and take some of my life back, but it’s hard at this point. I’ve worked for BB for since 1996 (except for my work-at-home experiment) and habits are established. On some days he treats me very well, I have to give him credit for that.

I have a beautiful office. I park in a covered garage attached to my building. I have great co-workers and a very interesting array of cases to work on. I am thankful to even have a job in these hard economic times.

But how do you tell your boss that even though you’re so grateful for your job, and so appreciative of your salary and benefits, what you really want is just more home time? BB is a workaholic. His kids are grown and gone. He gets bored at home without work to do. He hates to take vacations. How do I get him to see that I am desperate for my own family time and craving an afternoon to myself now and then?

(sigh) I really dread this review.

A Day in the Life of a Law Firm

My day starts fairly early, at least for an office job. Maybe I'm not as unique as I think I am (wink), but I do not know a lot of office managers that arrive at 6:30 a.m. My big boss (whom I will refer to only as "BB") is always here before me. He starts around 6:00 a.m. and leaves around 7:00 p.m., and doesn't go to lunch. There's never a reprieve around here.
We have our morning staff meeting at 7:30 a.m. on the dot. We review case files that are scheduled for review that day and assign any duties. Around 8:00 a.m., clients start to arrive in our office for their court appearances. The attorneys meet with their clients and then go to court in a big entourage walking down the street. It is only one block from our office to the courthouse.
While the attorneys are in court with their clients, the receptionist and I are left back at the office to "man the fort." Basically this is when all the real work gets done. There is a ton of paperwork involved in a criminal case, everything from community service work to driver's license paperwork to medical records. There are appointments to be made and new clients coming in. It's never really a quiet office, but I consider that a good thing. As long as it's not boring, the days usually pass quickly.
When BB and the other attorneys return from court, the chaos returns with them. There are long results letters to prepare and documents for the clients to take with them. The phones ring more often and more people come in and out of the office.
It seems there is never a moment's rest at the office, and BB doesn't like to chit-chat or socialize. He likes to WORK. And he likes for the rest of us to WORK. If you ever need a great attorney, he's your man. If you want a very hard-driven, workaholic boss, he's also your man. He doesn't take vacations or days off, or even sick days, so he doesn't really understand why his staff would want to do so.
I don't usually get a lunch break. I eat at my desk while working. I may get to leave every day around 5:15 or 5:30, so by that time I am exhausted and definitely ready to go home and see Logan & Artie. 10 - 11 hours straight is a long enough day for me, for sure!
I have my own office, with a door and everything. I have a great view of the stadium, the Tennessee River, the UT campus, the Sunsphere ... but I rarely have time to look out and enjoy the scenery. It is a very stressful job and a very tense atmosphere to work in. I long for a job where I'm just a minion and no one freaks out if I'm on vacation or heaven forbid, have surgery and need a few days off to recover. I guess I've just gotten used to the routine & the pay. And my best friend, Sara, is also a partner in the firm, so I get to see her every day. She makes it all bearable.
It's kind of a routine every day - morning meeting, court, afternoon appointments, but each day and each case brings something new. New persons who are suffering or embarrassed because of their offenses. New computer problems. New phone issues. New officers, new judges ... it's always something. I've worked in this office since 1996, so it's very hard to surprise me anymore. It's never a boring job!