This is Mom, Kristi & me ... sadly how it's going to be soon.
So today's news has Dad on morphine now for pain from his bed sores and for shallow breathing. The nurse's report today was not good, and Mark says he has slept almost all day today. Mom seems very discouraged and of course, that trickles down to me. I keep telling my therapist, "we've known this was coming for months now, so why is it like brand new every time he gets worse?" She says nothing can prepare you for the death of a loved one, not even prolonged illness.
I remember when I first got married, driving away toward Virginia Beach after our honeymoon, and feeling a few moments of panic. I loved Artie and had faith in him, but I was thinking, "I'm leaving my Daddy, who is going to protect me now?" I always knew I was safe if Dad was around. Dad was never a macho guy, but I knew he would give his life to protect mine and Kristi's, or Mom's. Obviously Artie did a fine job over the last "100" years, but I'm starting to feel a similar sense of panic. With Dad gone, who is my protector now? There's something very lonely about losing a parent. Parents and siblings are BLOOD. No matter what you do in life or how much you may drift apart, you're still BLOOD and nothing can change it. Now I feel I have one less person in my corner, one piece less of me in the world.
Anyway ... I still have my heavenly Father to lean on - and that's even better than BLOOD.
