Days OFF!

I am very excited about having the next 2 days off. Yes, it would be nice if I were off on Friday, too, but I'll take 2 days without complaining! I have goals for the next 2 days. Let's see how I do in meeting them. I want to get all of our items out of storage before Friday. I want to finish my scrapbook room so I can work on some projects. I want to finish setting up the spare bedroom. I want to watch at least one movie and take at least one nap. And I want to get over this nasty surprise cold!
Happy New Year everyone!

Acceptance...

Oh what a sad night for me last night … Logan won his basketball game, the first of the “Holiday Tournament,” 28-7. Our team did great, although we were two players short and the five remaining had to play the whole game. Everyone on the team scored at least once except Logan. Near the end of the game they were trying very hard to get Logan a score, passing him the ball and working it to him so he could shoot. Out of three or four shots, he missed all of them. The whole game it was like he was off in la-la land all by himself, not paying attention, not following the action at all. Artie was very frustrated – but then Artie is not very supportive of Logan playing sports anyway. So that brings me to the sad part. I am going to have to accept, despite my tremendous sorrow, that Logan is not going to be an athlete. (sigh) There, I said it ‘out loud.’ This is a painful reality for me for several reasons. #1 – I wanted better for him than what I had. I never had an opportunity to play team sports because of our singing schedule and because my parents didn’t ‘believe’ in sports. So I definitely wanted Logan to have the opportunity to play whatever he wanted to play. #2 – I wanted him to be athletic, again unlike me, so he would not have to worry about weight issues and would always be active and healthy. #3 – So many of his friends are involved in a sport and it takes away a commonality that he will miss as they all grow older together. #4 – If you go to the Halls schools, you are treated like a nobody if you don’t play sports. This becomes more obvious as you get into middle and high school, where the whole jocks, geeks, brains divisions start to occur. I don’t want Logan to be the fat, pasty-white kid who plays video games and has acne!!! Artie says Logan is not a natural at sports and Logan is not a very motivated player, so Artie says why push him to play anything? Just let him be whatever he is going to be… stop trying to make him into something he’s not. My philosophy was to expose him to sports and maybe he would find something he really loved and stick with it. He does love basketball, but not enough to really get involved in the games and get his head in it. He would much rather watch WWE or play video games or Guitar Hero. Am I so wrong to want more than that for him? Am I a ‘stage parent’ if I push him to play sports even though he is not good at it? Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh – the difficulties of parenting never stop – the circumstances just change with age.

After Christmas Blues

You know that kind of sad feeling you get after the last gift is opened and the last family meal has been eaten? Well, besides feeling incredibly over-stuffed? That’s how I felt this morning. I certainly did not want to get out of my nice, comfy bed to come to work after being off for five days. I did not want the holidays to end yet. We had to drive away and leave half of our family in South Carolina yesterday so we could come back home – in an over-packed car to a messy house. Tonight Logan has a basketball game at 6:00, which means I’ll rush out of here as soon as I can and drive like a maniac all the way home to do a quick-change and head right back out again. Hopefully I’ll be able to accomplish some unpacking tonight and putting away cool new gifts – like jewelry and perfume and books and clothes and new Jim Shore pieces!!

This is a picture of me and two of my five nieces, Daniela (L) and Deann (Middle). Deann is like a daughter to me and Artie! We love our nieces!!

I kind of wonder if this was Dad’s last Christmas. I am not like Mom, I don’t always say “He’s in the end stages…” or “… he probably won’t be here much longer…” . I’ve been an optimist so far – at least as much as I can be. Therapy helps, and it somehow helps that we’ve been through this before, with Mamaw. It is so hard to see him this way, and I know there will be a relief in knowing that he doesn’t suffer anymore and he’s gone on to heaven with his parents and brother. But I still don’t want to imagine a world without my Dad in it, you know? He still looks at me in answer when I say “Dad,” and he still laughs when I do something silly for him. Part of me will go when he goes…

On a happier note, we had a blast in South Carolina. The kids always play until there are more dirty streaks than clean, until they collapse into exhausted sleep at night, sometimes all in a pile together. We had a great bonfire Saturday night and great snacks, fireworks, and karaoke!! Leave it to Cheryl Arthur … Mumma & Papoo’s neighbor. LOL. That is one hilarious lady! We did make it home yesterday in time to watch a movie and fall asleep on the couch.

All in all this was a really good Christmas. I have seen more of my extended family in the last few weeks than I usually do in years, I’ve had a lot of great food, big laughs, and great gifts. And I’ve almost made it through the first day back at work, so … it could be a lot worse.