They say a picture is worth a thousand words. This picture is representative of what my parents are like these days … except Dad’s not singing anymore. That in itself is a sad, sad truth. Mom is looking on with tears in her eyes at Dad, which about sums it up lately. He seems to be taking another turn for the worse, and she had a really bad time with him this past weekend. In addition to his goofy and child-like behavior, he also has these angry outbursts where he calls people names (using ‘bad’ words I’ve NEVER before heard him use) and now has started throwing things. He pounds his fist into his head – hard enough where it looks like it would really hurt! He says he’s just going to take a gun and blow his brains out. Mom has now moved their gun out of the house into the safekeeping of a friend.

I’m so torn when I think of them – worried for Mom and sorry that her husband of 42 years is disappearing right before her eyes, sorry that Dad is creating memories that she will never erase, and worried for her mental health. And then I think of Dad and I only want the best care for him and want to (selfishly) keep him around as long as possible, and I miss him so much, the real him that’s already mostly slipped away. If you’ve never watched someone you love be lost to dementia, whether it be Alzheimer’s or some other form, you cannot know the specific pain it brings. I watched my beloved grandmother die from Alzheimer’s slowly and now, to know some of the things that lie ahead for Dad … it’s heartbreaking.

Please pray for my family, and pray for me especially that I would be that good child that takes care of her parents, both of them, and doesn’t turn a blind or ‘too busy’ eye…