Therapy

I have been seeing a therapist, otherwise known as a licensed psychologist, off and on since 1994, but for the past five years I have seen the same therapist either once a week or once every two weeks. Her name is Saroj and she is magnificent.
The idea of therapy seems to frighten a lot of people. My mom won’t go because she doesn’t want someone to know “all of her secrets.” Mom prefers to stuff everything down inside and put a smile on until it all bubbles up and explodes. I’m not of that mindset myself.
Other people are afraid of therapists because they assume they will lie on a sofa and be hypnotized or otherwise “tricked” into talking about things they really don’t want to talk about. Some don’t “believe” in therapy, either because they think it’s a bunch of hogwash or they believe that only God can heal your mind. I’ve heard many excuses from all different types of people as to why they would never go to a therapist.
For me personally, therapy has been a tremendous gift. I honestly believe that when my family physician referred me to Saroj, she is the therapist that God chose for me. God can perform His healing through other people, like doctors and nurses and therapists. I have been comfortable with her since the first session, and now it’s almost like we’re old girlfriends catching up when we meet. Through our sessions, I have become a stronger person and able to handle much more stress and emotional upheaval than I could handle before.
What is a therapy session like? Well, with Saroj it’s like sitting in someone’s den and having a chat. She has a desk in her office and a filing cabinet, but there is also a sofa and a very comfy armchair, which is where I sit. She sits in her desk chair and we face each other from across the room and just talk. She asks about anything major going on in my life and we talk about that. Sometimes we talk about my lingering grief over Dad’s death. Sometimes we talk about my worries as a mom and parenting issues with Logan. Sometimes we talk about my relationship with Mom or Kristi. Sometimes (often!) we talk about work stress and how I can stand up to a very difficult and demanding boss. She relates to me stories from her own life or the lives of other clients that help me see my situation in a different light. She tells me it’s okay to feel the way I do, or maybe that I shouldn’t feel the way I do. She helped me deal with the emotional fallout from having gastric bypass surgery and changing my body image. She helps me deal with the routine family issues that arise in all of our lives every day. Most of all, she helps me see the best Kim inside me, underneath all the negative things I tell myself every day.
If I have a freak-out moment during the week, I can email or call her. If I have something wonderful to tell her, I can email or call her. She came to the funeral home when Dad died. She has met Artie & Logan, and even saw Logan a couple of times because I was worried about his self-esteem and shyness. I have referred many people to her office.

I think my positive experience with therapy may cause me to be a little bit biased, but I think everyone should have a therapist, at least during transition times in life. It is so helpful and such a relief to talk to someone, an objective listener, who is trained and knows about emotions and how the brain works.
I was diagnosed with depression many years ago. At first I too thought it was hogwash and I wanted my family doctor to keep testing me and find out what was REALLY wrong, not just some mental diagnosis that he “made up.” Artie convinced me to try the doctor’s advice and start medication and see a therapist, which I did. After I saw how it worked, I became a believer. Some days I still get really down & out for no apparent reason, and my depression is affected by the change in seasons. I stay more depressed in the winter than in the spring & summer because of the shorter days and less sunlight. Apparently this is a common phenomenon.
I used to be embarrassed to have a depression diagnosis. I didn’t want anyone to know I was on medication (originally Prozac, now on Cymbalta for about three years). But where is the shame in being honest? We all struggle with something. I think it has been a combination of prayer and faith, medication, support from my family & friends, and my amazing therapist that I am in the place I am today.