Plastic Surgery: Why I Love It & Why I Won't Do It Again (Part 1)

There are two confessions I must make before really digging into this post:
1. I have never been happy with my body; and
2. I watch a lot of reality television involving women to whom appearance is a #1 priority (i.e. Real Housewives; Kardashians)

So in reaction to #1 above, I take a cue from #2 above and think "hmmm. not happy with something about my body? Let's call the plastic surgeon!"

My first experience with plastic surgery was around 4 years ago. I was very overweight at the time, but the part of my body that bothered me the most was my abdomen. Logan was born via C-section. Anyone who has ever had a C-section knows that it requires cutting some of the muscles in your abdomen and they don't exactly "grow back together." Any weight that you fail to lose after pregnancy, or any that you gain thereafter, is going to hang over the C-section scar like a little (or big) kangaroo pouch. It's not an attractive thought or reality. I had this pouch and it grossed me out. I felt like a whale. I went to three different plastic surgeons to discuss any possible surgical remedies. The first one I went to was an older fellow, and he told me he thought he could help me out, but he was actually getting ready to retire and wanted to refer me to one of his partners. I went to another surgeon who treated me like I had the plague because I was overweight. I'll never forget sitting there naked on the exam table and him walking in and saying "Plastic surgery is not a treatment for obesity. You would have to lose a lot of weight before I would even consider seeing you again." He was a real meanie and I cried for days after that. Then I read online somewhere about Dr. Lucas and thought I'd give it one more try. I scheduled an appointment and with much trepidation went in for a consult. He examined me, treated me as if I were the only patient in the world, and said "Sure, I can help you with this!" And he did. He cut off 20 lbs. of fat in my abdomen and took away my kangaroo pouch for good. I loved him and his staff and how they treated me. I thought he hung the moon, and I was THRILLED with my first plastic surgery.
Until I got an infection in one of my drain sites.
Maybe you have had a lot of surgical experience and you know all these yucky little tidbits that they kind of gloss over in the pre-op speech. Like drains, for example. I had 2 drains running out of my lower abdomen for a few weeks after surgery. What that means exactly is that there were 2 plastic tubes running out of me into these little round clear bags. Blood & other bodily fluids drained into these little round bags and had to be emptied regularly. By me. Or Artie. Or whomever was handy. When I returned to work (much too soon), the drains had to be pinned to my clothes. One of the holes where the drain came out became infected. Guess what that means? It had to be cut open and then packed with little tiny shoestring-looking gauze twice a day. And that meant when new gauze was going in, the old gauze had to be pulled out. OWWWWCH! I ran a high fever, I felt horrible, and then it finally got better. My doctor was amazing throughout, even calling me from his vacay somewhere on a tropical island to check on me personally.
So eventually the nasty little memory of a drain site infection faded away and I was just happy with my new pouch-free tummy.

Next, I decided I needed my turkey neck worked on after I lost considerable weight. Since my double chins were down to a single now, I wanted the firm jawline of youth and thinness.

Well, said the doc, we can first try an office procedure, chin liposuction, and if you're not happy with the results, we can schedule a full chin lift later on. Sign me up, I said. I'll come one afternoon and we'll do it in the office and I'll go back to work the next day with a glorious chin.
It was about a 2.5 hour procedure, in the office, and was probably the most painful of any plastic surgeries. My jaws and neck hurt for weeks afterwards.

And the best part was I got to wear a "chin strap" (which is much more disgusting than it sounds-see photo proof!) for WEEKS afterwards. To work!! and to the store! And to bed! My boss was... let's say less than thrilled.

After about 4 weeks, though, I did have a much better jawline and chin. I still have wrinkles on my neck and they bother me, but guess what? They're staying.

My continued plastic surgery saga will be continued in a future post...